How to Speed Up the Divorce Recovery Timeline

How to Speed Up the Divorce Recovery Timeline

One of the biggest questions and concerns on many people’s minds after going through a divorce is – how long will it take for me to recover from my divorce? And it’s common for people to wonder, will I ever fully recover from my divorce? 

Statistics show it takes most people years to recover and move through the divorce recovery timeline, while many others never fully recover from divorce. 

After going through a divorce from my partner of twenty years, I was told that it would take me years to recover with some people saying it takes 20–30% of the relationship time to overcome the divorce. Even a fellow Coach told me it would take me at least 2 years to recover and start to feel “normal” again.

When you’re feeling vulnerable, lost and going through the hardest time of your life, it’s easy to take on these types of beliefs, but fortunately for me as a Coach, I had the awareness to see these well meaning opinions for what they were…just beliefs! 

I was determined that there was no way it was going to take me 2- 6 years to recover from my divorce and knowing the power of beliefs and that adopting them will quickly become your reality, I knew how important it was to make sure I didn’t adopt those limiting beliefs that would have cost me years of my life.  

So is there a Divorce Recovery Timeline?

There is no way to determine how long each person will take to recover from divorce and no percentage equation to determine this. Like anything in life it’s about how you deal with it and approach it and whether you have the awareness, tools and support to be able to move through it faster. 

Overcoming divorce is a process and there is a natural grieving process and stages that people usually move through.

grieving process, process, emotions

grieving process, process, emotions

Everyone will move through this process at different times. The secret to getting through the divorce recovery timeline as quickly as possible, is to get the right support to move through the grieving process to heal faster, let go of the past and move on to a wonderful new life after divorce. 

One thing is for sure, no one wants to feel like they’ve lost years at this stage of life and it’s important to make sure you don’t waste precious years struggling with the pain and heartache, getting stuck and carrying the baggage into the future.

So how do you speed up the divorce recovery timeline?

Here are 3 ways to recover faster and make sure you don’t waste years getting through it the slow way.

1. Get through the grieving process faster – One of the biggest reasons people take years to recover from divorce is because they don’t know how to get through the grieving process quickly and overcome the painful emotions. Emotions like grief, sadness, anger, fear, hurt, loneliness, depression are all common after going through a divorce. Healing from these painful emotions can take a long time and feel like you’re taking one step forward, one step backwards, especially if you don’t know how to overcome and let go of the painful emotions quickly.

The key to speeding up the healing and recovery process is to get the right help and support to clear the painful emotions quickly and one of the fastest ways to do this is to work with a specialized coach or therapist that has the ability and tools to help you clear the big emotions from the level they are actually sitting at, the subconscious level. .

Most people work at the conscious level of awareness, which is really just the tip of the iceberg. The big emotions along with other things that can keep us ‘stuck’ like negative beliefs, patterns and old traumas are all sitting at the deeper subconscious level. To speed up the recovery process it’s important to clear the emotions quickly from this deeper level to heal faster and significantly help reduce the divorce recovery timeline.

subconscious, conscious mind, iceberg

subconscious, conscious mind, iceberg

2. Acceptance. Acceptance is the last stage of the traditional grieving process and getting to this stage as quickly as possible, will help speed up the divorce recovery timeline. Making peace with what’s happened and accepting the relationship and your old life as you knew it is over, will allow you to move on and start looking towards the future and building your new life. The good news is, your new life can be even better than ever and once you get past the acceptance phase you can really start to move towards this.

If you’re having trouble moving through the grieving process and getting to a place of acceptance, getting the right support will help you get through it faster, ensure you don’t get stuck along the way or start looping back through the grieving process which can significantly slow down the process.

3. Coming out of the Tunnel. Going through a divorce and moving through the divorce recovery timeline can feel like you’re going through a tunnel and at times it’s hard to see at times if there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

One of the ways to ensure you keep moving forward and come out of the “tunnel”, is to get clear about what the light at the tunnel looks like! What is the future that you want to move towards? What does your new life look like? The key is to make this new vision for your life and future as compelling and inspiring as possible. This will help keep you moving forward and getting through the process faster.   

Getting clear about what you want for your new life is important and when you can start to get excited about the future and what that holds, you’ll be able to get through the divorce recovery timeline faster and start creating a life you can love and be proud of again. 

So the next time someone tries to tell you how long it will take you to recover, be careful not to take on these beliefs because what you believe to be true is what will become true for you! How quickly you get through the divorce recovery timeline is different for everyone and it’s up to you how fast you get through it. 

Getting the support of a specialized Divorce Coach and Therapist can really help you speed up the time it takes to overcome your divorce, move on and create a wonderful new life – one that can be so much better than you may be able to envisage right now.

Renae Tate is a Certified Life Coach and Divorce Coach, NLP Practitioner and Psychotherapist*, that specialized in helping people heal faster after divorce, get their confidence and create their dream life and relationship after divorce. ph: +61414295373 or

divorce coach, woman, smiling, divorce

divorce coach, woman, smiling, divorce

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